Drowning
by prongs122
Summary: What could heal the mind of a troubled teenage girl? Perhaps a ridiculously handsome boy. Yeah, that sounds about right.
1. Introduction to Chaos

**Drowning**

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I do not own anything that you recognize from the wonderful Harry Potter books._

_(A/N: Here she is. Thanks to my beta Saryah, and my great friends Kitty and Kayla.)_

**Chapter One**

**_Introduction to the Chaos_**

All my theories, my feelings, my thoughts, they all boil down to two words. Life. Sucks.

My bare feet are no longer affected by the icy floor in my lonely dormitory. The ragged bathrobe which hangs dully over my slumping stature casts an eerie glow over my sunken features. I look tiredly into the hanging mirror, desperately trying to ignore its blatant sighs of pity. My name is Lily Evans, and the last thing I want is your, or the bloody mirror's, pity.

The room is dark, and I consider sleep. Sleep is just an opportunity for nightmares. But my weary eyes are desperate for rest and my body is aching for the feel of the crisp linen sheets kept in perfect condition by the house elves. I pad silently across the room, past the other three snoring lumps in their four post beds. I shrug off my ratty robe and slip into the tight pocket of the sheets. Inside this cocoon, I feel safe. Warm.

BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGG!

Sometimes, I wish you could kill inanimate objects. Especially the stupid, annoying invention known as an alarm clock. I reluctantly open my eyes but immediately shield them from the daylight that welcomed itself into the room. The other three girls have been awake for an hour now, primping and fluffing to impress the arrogant opposite sex.

"Good morning Lily." The tallest girl's smile peeked up over the compact powder which she was applying manually as I shut off the incessant ringing. Mackenzie Stewart is one those girls who's tall and slender but if she was short she wouldn't have been quite as fortunate. She had shoulder length honey brown hair and big hazel eyes. She was classically cute and freakishly cheery. Damn her.

"Mmmmmmm…"I groaned and buried my face deep in the folds of my pillow as Mackenzie smacked her lips to distribute her glossy lipstick. Avery poked her head out of the bathroom door calling for reinforcement eye shadow. Avery Whitfield was pretty, not beautiful, but definitely pretty. She had light blonde hair and grayish eyes, average height, average weight. Average.

Then there was Chase. She was my favorite of the three with her fun disposition, and outrageous sense of humor. Chase Leyton had short, flirty dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes that danced with laughter. She was by far the shortest of the three and the one who was least concerned about her looks, but nonetheless, she woke up early with the other girls.

"Ok, we're off. See you later, Lily!" Chase called as she and the other two shut the door and headed into the common room before breakfast. I swung my legs over the bed and stood as my feet connected with the floor. I began to lug myself across the room until I stepped on something that cracked. I looked down to discover a broken picture frame and a trickle of blood emerging from the sole of my foot. Perfect. As I lifted the photograph, I realized why it had been so carelessly thrown on the floor near my bed. It was a picture of my family before everything went so very wrong.

Actually, I used to be quite attractive with my long, thick red hair and bright green eyes. But now my hair is tatty and pulled back and my eyes are dull and mute. I finger the tall brunette man with green eyes longingly.

Lord Voldemort killed my father. And it's my fault.

If I wouldn't have been a witch, I wouldn't have dragged my innocent family into this ongoing war in the wizarding world. Lord Voldemort tried to kill my mother but my father shielded her, receiving the death curse in a flash of eerie green light. The dark man's high pitched laughter flooded the room as he yet again pointed his wand at my mother, instead inflicting the Cruciatus curse, causing her writhe in pain and pass out. Lord Voldemort, who suspected that she was dead or breathing her last breaths, fled the scene as my sister and her boyfriend barged in from their date. My mother should not be doubted for she is the strongest woman I know and that's why I'm not surprised that after a short stay at the Muggle hospital she was alive. My father though, could never be brought back.

From that day forward my sister loathed the very air I breathed. Petunia never accepted who I was, but she endured it for the sake of our family. But now that our family is fractured, I am nothing more than a good for nothing _murderer. _Hearing those words from my sister just crushed me, then when my mother agreed I was thrown out of the house, and their hearts.

I started moving in a downward spiral.

Beep…beep…beep… I lifted my wrist to eye level to view my watch flashing that it was time for breakfast. Grudgingly, I slid into my well worn robes and made a beeline through the corridors into the great hall. The Great Hall was extravagant and beautiful with enchanted ceilings and carved structures. And there I stood feeling 5 feet small, in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the magical Hogwarts life.

The long house tables are probably the most intimidating objects here. Lengthy benches, covered with chattering friends and blossoming relationships, leaving no room for social outsiders. I take my place at the end of the bench, placing some distance between me and the rest of the sea of black, red and gold. I forked a piece of toast, and swigged some pumpkin juice that cools my throat as it trails down. I nibble indifferently at my bread and try not to be affected by the rich laughter and smiles surrounding me. Today's the first day of classes since Christmas holidays, for all who left for home returned yesterday afternoon.

Christmas is just about the worst holiday that was ever created. It's just an excuse for hopelessly happy couples to exchange saliva beneath a piece of blasted mistletoe or families to join together and open parcels beneath a green fir decorated with odds and ends. And everyone's so _happy._ All the time!

"LILY!" My head snapped up to see who had called my name in that boisterous voice, and I saw a flash of bright purple and a waving hand connect with the stone floor as the person fell hard. Ouch.

"I'm okay…I'm good. THAT was exhilarating!" Scarlett O'Connell's bright head of purple hair popped right back up and she skipped merrily over to the vacant seat in front of me. Then again, all the seats around me were open. Scarlett's a seventh year Gryffindor and an oddball of all sorts.

"Like the hair? I thought it made me look_….SPANISH!_ You know?" Scarlett twisted her arms in the air and snapped in an 'Olé' fashion. She's one of those people who seem to have caffeine permanently running through her veins. And what I want to know is how the girl fills out identification forms because I highly doubt in the box labeled "hair color" you can write '_depends'_. I just mumbled in agreement as she propped up her head in her upright hands and smiled brightly.

"So how are you?" Scarlett asked as she added two slices of bacon to my nearly empty plate and then proceeded in filling her plate with all the breakfast necessities.

"Oh, bloody fantastic. I just enjoyed a nice merlot on the veranda with a few friends." I replied sardonically as if she should feel bad for being so damn jovial.

Scarlett threw back her head and laughed loudly while shrieking rather shrilly, "You crack me up!" Once she had collected her self from my oh-so-funny comment she returned her gaze to the fluffy pancakes lying before her.

"Can you pass the syrup, doll?" I passed the skinny pitcher of warm maple syrup and began poking indifferently at the pieces of bacon now resting idly on my plate.

"C'mon, Lil! You got to eat something. You're skin and bones! And then once you're skin deteriorates from lack of any protein, you'll only be bones. And from your lack of calcium, those will be as brittle as twigs. So once all the bones in your body break, you'll be left with nothing but you're brain and heart which will soon stop functioning so eat that bacon or die!" Scarlett took in a deep breath after her passionate rant and replaced the hair behind her ear which came out of place and then went back to carefully cutting her pancakes.

Feeling like I lost the battle, I took a few small bites out of my bacon, which seemed to satisfy Scarlett. Just as I was beginning to feel entranced by the woodwork along the table, I heard a deep voice from behind me.

"Why, hello there Lily, Scarlett." I titled my face ever so slightly to meet the face of the handsome, fellow 6th year Gryffindor, Remus Lupin who had just plopped down next to me.

"I almost couldn't spot you guys at the table. The purple hair blends right in, Scarlett." Remus smirked as he picked up the remaining, untouched piece of bacon from my plate and effortlessly popped it into his mouth.

"So you like the whole Spanish vibe it sends?" Scarlett asked anxiously as she tossed her long straight hair back over her shoulder. Remus stole a quick glance at me and quirked up an eyebrow, barely noticeable beneath his shaggy sandy brown hair that fell easily over his stormy eyes. His attractive face was tainted by a thin white scar which crept across his face from his left ear to just above his left eye. I had grown used to it but at first glance, most people's eyes are immediately drawn to it.

"Spanish?" Remus asked dubiously, I simply shrugged my shoulders as Scarlett nodded vigorously.

"I kind of see it……" Remus cocked his head to the side; squinted one eye shut and framed her face with his hands as if trying to analyze a sculpture.

"Hey Moony, once you're done checking out Scarlett, c'mon." said Sirius Black as he entered the Great Hall with his fellow "Marauders." That's what they call themselves, them being Sirius, Remus, Peter Pettigrew and James Potter.

Sirius Black, he had a history, a past. He was tall and dark and the kind of guy you would want to rebel with.

"Hardy-har-har. I was _not_ checking out Scarlett. I was seeing if her hair made her look Spanish." Remus replied indignantly as he began to rise from his seat to join the guys.

"Oh, see _now_ we understand." Peter gave him the why-didn't-you-just-say-that-in–the first-place-look until Remus flicked him in the back of the head lightheartedly. Peter may not be quite as tall or handsome as the others but his quirky personality is somewhat loveable.

"Yea, I often check to see what nationality a girl's hairdo is. Actually a hobby of mine, kind of like bird watching." James said to Remus and then turned to Scarlett, "And I fully agree. Definitely Spanish." He smiled and gave me a friendly wave before he, Remus and Peter made their way over to where Sirius was already sitting down. James was one of those people who is just an all around nice guy. He was very passionate about what he believed in and that got him in to trouble when he spoke his mind.

The Marauders was a group of four very different boys who shared a friendship that I envy.

I wish I had a friend I could confide everything in, trust with my life. But I don't. I am very much alone in this world, and that very thought scares the shit out of me.

Yet again, my depressing train of thought was interrupted by my blasted wristwatch directing me to go to my Charms class. I have a headache just thinking about the rolls of crisp parchment and the smells of thick ink that I haven't had to deal with for the last two weeks. This is going to be a long day.

* * *

The Gryffindor Common room is the source of all evil. I think Public Displays of Affection should be cause for someone to be sent to Azkaban. I was just sitting on the plush sofa facing the burning hearth, reading a novel, minding my own business. The room was well occupied when the portrait swung open to let Leslie Pricketts in. Leslie, a 7th year, was and has been an item with Wes Kienley for quite sometime now but that is no excuse for them to enter with their hands _intertwined_. And then, he leans in and kisses her in front of the whole Gryffindor population! True, if you would have blinked at that moment you would've missed it but I, and lots of other Gryffindors, were NOT blinking. Disgusting. I heard a blissful sigh from behind me and turned to see Scarlett's shoulders propped up on the back of the couch. She was gazing towards the ceiling with a glazed look.

"Err...Scarlett?"

"Aren't they _romantic_." She cooed.

"Nope. Not really."

"And he's so good to her. To him there's only her." Scarlett went on as if I said nothing. "AND did you see his eyes! There so dreamy when he sees her."

"Mmmhmm. Well as exciting as this is….." I closed my book and stood up to edge out the portrait hole.

"Lily, do you not want that?" Scarlett asked my retreating back.

"Want what?" I turned to face her confused face.

"Someone to know all your imperfections and love them. A shoulder to cry on and he would never think less of you for it but admire you even more. To rejoice in your triumphs, to cry at your losses. To love you and everything you are?"

I lowered my head and my mind went reeling. I wanted to scream, "YES! More than anything." But I couldn't. That would be revealing my emotions, showing my feelings. Something I do not do. So I stood there for a moment drowning in my own thoughts. I seem to be doing that a lot lately, drowning. I lifted my head and replied in a quiet whisper.

"No." Then I continued making my way out the common room.

Drowning. Drowning fast.

(A/N: Hey there. I hope you're enjoying it, reviews are more than welcome and expect more soon!)

prongs122


	2. Blank Denial

**Drowning**

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I do not own anything that you recognize from the wonderful Harry Potter books._

_(A/N: Here we go again. Thanks to my beta Saryah, and my great friends Kitty and Kayla.And Alicia who is a grammar Nazi…any grammar mistakes…BLAME HER!)_

**Chapter Two**

**_Blank Denial_**

The portrait closed behind me with a click and once again I was alone with my thoughts. Yippee. My fingers skim the cover of the tattered copy of _Gulliver's Travels_ which I still hold in my hand. I'm not really much of a reader, but when you're a loner its somewhat expected. I just give everyone what they expect. In reality, I could care less about Lemuel Gulliver and his lackluster stories that he describes with no emotion. But in a sense, he's a good teacher; considering I need to learn how refrain from showing any sentiments.

I don't know what made me do it. Maybe it was bottled up frustration reaching its peak and exploding like a firework of aggravation. Maybe it was because I was so bloody tired of giving everyone what they expected. Or maybe it was simply the fact that the book was so damn boring. Regardless of the reason, I still chucked my hefty novel over the banister. Down, down, down….

"BLOODY HELL!"

Shit. I grabbed hold of the railing and cautiously leaned forward to see where, or who, exactly it hit. Two piercing eyes were staring right back up at me; I could barely see the pupil of the almost black eyes. Ah, what luck. Sirius Black.

"What was that for, Lily!" Don't seem so shocked, yes he knows my name. We aren't friends or anything but when you're in the same year and house as someone, you cross paths more than you would think.

He was two flights down but by taking large strides with his long legs, within seconds he was next to me with my object of offense in his hand. My eyes remained downcast as he placed the hardback into my frail fingers. I was burning with embarrassment, so after mumbling "sorry", I turned and began to hurry off. See, that's what I get for breaking my norm, for showing my true colors.

I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder and I turn with my eyes remaining on the floor, getting a great view of Sirius' shoes. He placed his hand under my chin and lifted my face to meet his eyes and I once again realize how handsome he is. His dark hair is shaggy but falls somehow gracefully over his eyes, therefore every so often he has to push the strands aside and his intense eyes are once again visible. His facials features are sharp but they light up when he smiles. Once you add his toned muscles and tall stature, he is the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome.

But he had a past. The Black family is a name immediately associated with the Dark Arts. As a child he was taught that Dark Arts was the right way, and to be his _only _way. Sirius watched his cousins and family before him become Slytherins and follow his parent's teachings in the world of Dark Magic. Once his term at Hogwart's began, he was a shoo-in for the Slytherin House but instead was sorted in Gryffindor. The House of the brave at heart and bold heroes. He tried to stay distant from the rest of the House, and they steered clear from him for fear he may hex them with his Dark Magic. (Which is really quite silly considering he still was only eleven).

But soon after he met good ol' James Potter who did not care about his background. Sirius was a Gryffindor; the Sorting Hat makes no mistakes. And James being his passionate little self preached his family's ways to Sirius.

At first, the thought of kindness to Muggleborns or becoming an Auror was absurd to Sirius but when James believed strongly in something, it was contagious. Soon Sirius and James were inseparable and Sirius' magic was no longer as dark as his name. Sometime along the way Remus and Peter joined their small group of friends and ta-da! The self-named Marauders were born.

Well anyway, back to what's going on. Sirius. Book. Eyes. Got it?

"Now Lily, are you going to explain why I just happen to have a knot forming upon my head from a certain book of yours?" Sirius removed his hand from chin and tilted his head to give me the well-speak-up-missy look.

"Err—I---You see---." Aren't I articulate? Around Scarlett and Remus I shoot out comebacks like mad but around anyone else, I clam up. But Sirius wasn't relenting; he stood there with those intense eyes waiting for an answer.

"I was just….so excited about….. reading the book that I jumped up….and it errr…slipped and fell over the banister. Yup." I smiled at my brilliant answer. Just what they want to hear, a book worm being geeky makes a slight mishap. To my surprise Sirius looked at me skeptically, isn't that what he wanted to hear?

"Well as exciting as," He lifted the book out of my hands momentarily to read the spine, _"Gulliver's Travels_ seems to be, I don't see you as someone who would just jump up to celebrate a book…..or really anything." I clutched the book closer to my chest and turned on my heel to once again flee his presence.

Once again I failed.

"Damn it, Lily. Would it really kill you to have a conversation with me?"

I snapped my head back and replied sarcastically, "Yes, and I'm too young to die."

Sirius gave a grin, "See there's the Lily that Remus talks about." Uh-oh. I wonder what Remus says. This cannot be good. Note to self: Anything said to Remus can and will be used against me.

I kept walking through the corridor until I realized Sirius had caught up and fallen into step with me. Oh joy.

"Sirius? May I ask why you are suddenly so interested in stalking me?"

"Suddenly? Oh, m'dear I've been stalking you for ages." My stomach lurched and my eyes widened.

"W-w-hat?"

"Oh take a joke. Of course I haven't been stalking you. But is it suddenly a sin to wish to speak with a fellow 6th year Gryffindor."

"Yes. It is."

"Oh, I must have missed the memo."

"Apparently, and that's not my fault so if you would please just leave me alone….I'd be most grateful."

"As you wish. But take fair warning Lily, I've seen a different Lily now. You'll be seeing me around more often." With a quick nod of his head, Sirius turned down the next corridor with his hands in his pockets and whistling lazily. Talk about cryptic.

I've got to get out of here.

* * *

Sirius was true to his word. For the next week he would stop and talk briefly with me in the hallway or ask for homework help in the common room. Once he even sat with me at lunch when Remus was there.

In all his tries, I kept silent. I didn't want to encourage him.

The thing is I don't want or need another friend. Especially another Marauder. It's hard enough with Remus! But Sirius was persistent, which led me to believe he didn't only want to be friends. But that thought was immediately shot down when I was assured otherwise by Remus.

Goodness, friends are hard work.

I think our strangest encounter took place in late January when the snow was still falling generously and a cup of cocoa was required after returning from the greenhouses for Herbology.

It was nearing midnight and as usual, sleep was not finding me. I made sure my other dorm mates were fully asleep before I swiped my hand under my bed to access the secret stash…No, nothing like that. It's my small confidential collection of romance novels. Okay, so maybe I am a bit of a hopeless romantic but it's my little secret.

Anyway, I then crept across the room to the window so I could have light to read my current chapter of _Across the Room_. With my outstanding luck, it was overcast so I silently padded across the floor and cringed as the wooden door creaked. Still, I slipped out unnoticed but was frustrated to see that the fire was merely glowing ash. Then all of a sudden a huge flame jumped into the logs and a bouncy fire ignited.

I wasn't alone.

"OW!"

"Will you shut it Prongs?"

"He stepped on my---" then there was a hushed silence, apparently they or it or whatever it was had seen me. WHY COULDN'T I SEE IT?

I slowly stepped down each step until I was level with the invisible party.

Then out of mid air, appeared the one and only, Sirius.

"Ah Lily m'dear, what are you doing up so late?" Sirius asked casually.

"Well," I shifted my weight uneasily, "why are you appearing out of thin air?" Isn't that a little bit more peculiar then the fact that I'm in the common room late?

"You see," He said in a perfect stage whisper, "I'm a very gifted wizard."

I was looking at him skeptically, two seconds away from bursting into laughter. I was anticipating confetti to fall and a huge blinking sign to appear "YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED!"

"But keep it on the down low…."

Then suddenly James, Remus and Peter appeared.

"Oh don't flatter yourself… It's my invisibility cloak." James explained holding out the cool material for me to feel.

Aha…interesting. "Okay well bye…" I turned to make my way back up the stairs when Remus snatched the book out of my hands.

"_Across the Room_ the story of a head strong boy and a misunderstood girl, two lovers admiring from a far. Sounds interesting." Remus smirked as he read the back cover.

"Give it back." I said through gritted teeth. Remus instead shifted it open to the first page and began to read it silently. Remus may be a sweetheart, but sometimes he just doesn't get it.

"C'mon Remus, give back to her." James butted in to snatch the book from Remus' grasp and return it to me.

"Hold on, hold on. Listen to this '_True love isn't rare, it's just seems that way because most are too ignorant to see or accept it. True love is everywhere. In the air we breathe, in the stars we see. Everywhere."_ Remus gave one of those intuitive 'huh's as I repeated in silently in my mind. That was my favorite quote in the book, I knew it by heart.

"Yeah, yeah. It's Scarlett's I was coming down here to return it to her." I covered.

"Ah-huh, and you two often meet after hours in the common room to exchange books?" Sirius countered.

"Maybe." I replied, hopefully I sounded cryptic.

Mysterious.

We all stood there looking at each other. I think I actually heard crickets chirping.

"So Lily," Peter suddenly piped in, "want to do something wild?"

"Not particularly." I slowly replied, looking suspicious at these four boys. Wild?

"Aw, c'mon. Be a little crazy." Sirius nudged my shoulder encouragingly. See, this is what happens when you interact with people….You get crazy loons like the Marauders egging you on.

"But if you don't want to, you don't have to." James added, to try to make me feel comfortable. Of course it did the opposite. Who does James think he is? Acting as if he _knows_ me. Oh, I'll show him.

"Well what kind of 'adventure'?" I asked, surprising them and me at the same time.

"Well we were just going to sneak down to the kitchens and grab us some food. Maybe hex a few tapestries or knights on the way." Peter smiled in his geeky little way.

"HA! You call that an adventure?" I smiled inwardly at throwing James off guard and made my way upstairs. I heard rustling at Remus, Peter and Sirius threw the cloak over them. "I'm off to bed then, while you play your childish games. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Lily!" The invisible ones chorused and as I turned to wave, James stood there, perfectly visible, smiling in a dazed sort of way. And then within seconds he slipped under the cloak and crept out the portrait hole.

Once I was sure they were gone, I snuck back downstairs and opened my book to where Scott asked Alexandra to dance under the stars.

How romantic.

* * *

Apparently the fools got them self caught in their little adventure. Peter had an emergency visit to the loo so when he slipped out of the cloak; the caretaker's cat Mr. Wilkes caught the small bladdered Marauder. And with their code of honor or whatever that they had, the others unveiled themselves. What a load of pushovers.

Anyway, the second worst holiday ever created was approaching…approaching too fast. Passing through the hallways had become an art rather than a task. I had to dodge goo goo eyes and love struck faces left and right. It seems that Cupid's arrow has struck hard this year. But as always, his aim wasn't directed at my pathetic heart. Thank Merlin.

"Hey! Lil the Pill!" Scarlett came skipping over to me as I darted the exchange of a pink and red envelope. Disgusting.

"I resent that, Scarlett."

"Well anyway, I was thinking since Valentine's Day is next Monday—" Oh boy. There it is again. The V word. Its simple sound is detrimental and destructive.

"No." I quickened my pace as I peddled up the steps.

"I didn't even---"

"No."

We turned off the stairs and I sped up to a power walk. Scarlett caught up easily,

"Lily…"

"No!" I cried in aggravation, relenting into a slow and normal walk.

"Ah, I see things are going well for you guys. Great positive attitudes." Remus smiled as he joined our productive conversation.

"What do you want Remus?" I asked exasperatedly.

"Err—well eventually once I leave Hogwarts I'd like to get a little place somewhere. Find a job, meet a lady. Maybe get married---"

"GAH! You two are insufferable!" I threw my arms up in frustration and readjusted the strap of my book tote.

"Ouch." Scarlett feigned a look of utmost hurt, while Remus tried to look wounded but unmistakable laughs continued to emit themselves from his mouth.

"Hmmph." My brow line deepened and I just turned and walked away. Just like that I avoided something else.

Remus really was a quack though.

"Get married", "meet a lady", what a goof. I smiled and shook my head at his crazy yet somewhat adorable answer. I looked up to see to where I was going when all of a sudden my lungs constricted and my eyes went dark. Everything went blank.

My sight.

My breath.

My mind.

_Blank._

"Lily?" A familiar voice hovered above me. "Is that you!" The voice was filled with panic and concern.

"No..." I breathed in a hoarse whisper. I didn't know who I was.

_Blank._

(A/N: Hey there. Its coming along! I would really like some reviews from all you beautiful people. Theres nothing like feedback to help a writer along. And I completely respect constructive criticism and suggestions are more than welcome! Love you guys!)

prongs122


	3. Bumps and Broomstick Boys

**Drowning**

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I do not own anything that you recognize from the wonderful Harry Potter books._

_(A/N: Moving along… Thanks to my beta Saryah, and my great friends Kitty and Kayla. And Alicia who is a grammar Nazi…any grammar mistakes…BLAME HER!)_

**Chapter Three**

**_Bumps and Broomstick Boys_**

A light. A dim, foggy light. This is it, I'm done for.

Here I come, Daddy! I could just see him, running to greet me at the golden gates, with that big old grin I like to think he reserved for me.

Well, that is,if I make it there after what I did…

I felt a tingling sensation in my toes that soon overwhelmed my body as I regained my senses.

A cool, wet droplet slid down the bridge of my nose. A frigidly cold wash cloth was being tenderly dabbed on my temple.

"W-w-what h-happened?" I stuttered gracefully as I tried to lift my body into a sitting position. Immediately, a blinding, throbbing pain shot through my head.

"Shhh, dear. Lie back down. You're alright, but you've got a nasty bump on your head."

What? I lifted my hand and cautiously fingered my forehead until I felt the swell and my finger moist with warm liquid. Blood. My knees turned to jelly, making me thankful that I was not standing or else I would've collapsed.

"It's alright, just drink this." The nurse eased open my throat in preparation to slide some potion down.

"What is that?" I questioned groggily.

"This is to help ease the pain; it's very strong though so you only need a quick sip. I'm going to leave the bottle here through the night, so in case you wake up with a wretched pain,you can take a small sip. A small one though, too much is fatal."

"Ok." I agreed simply as the need for sleep overwhelmed me and, within in moments, I was highly concentrated on the back of my eyelids.

_"NOOOOOOOOO!"__ I screamed through our small house, chasing my mother, trying to stop her. _

_"Get away from me!" She yelled back in my face, tears streaming with no end. _

_"Mom…mommy…I'm sorry."_

_"Leave me alone! Find some other family to torture, why don't you!" I ran through the hall, up the stais, only trusting my memory, for my vision was blinded with the continuous flow of salty tears. I grabbed my new trunk my parents had purchased me for Hogwart's and threw all my clothes and necessities in. Lugging it down the stairs, falling repeatedly because of my vision impairment and the weakness it brought. _

_In the living room, hunched awkwardly over the couch, my mother was in a sobbing fit, with Petunia in a heap on the ground wearing a blank look and silent tears. With a loud BAM my trunk reached the final step, catching their attention._

_An awkward silence, only the tears uniting us._

_"Murderer," my sister hissed, throwing my mother into another series of uneven howls. I didn't want to deal with this, I couldn't. As I opened the front door, having NO idea what was coming for me, my mother finally spoke._

_"You….were a mistake."__ It was if someone had speared a stake through my heart._

_Just as I was about to click the front door shut, I turned and hoarsely whispered, "I love you."_

_All around me, heavy rain drops were littering the pavement. My vibrant hair was a tangled mess, drenched in water. My face was soaked from the mixture of salty tears and pure rain drops. In the distance, I watch a blue car sink into the horizon until it's no longer visible._

_"Goodbye…" I feel myself whisper as if the wind will blow the message into the ears of my family. But they won't. A lot of things won't happen. Dropping onto the road, I wonder what to do with my life._

SWEET MERLIN! The fiercest pain I have ever experienced in my pathetic 16 years of life coursed through my head. I reached for the potion on my bedside and threw my head back as I let a few drops slide down my throat.

Immediately, the pain began to lighten, and I replaced the bottle on the bedside.

Well, on second thought…

It could be easy. Just a few big gulps, and I'm done. No more long restless nights of longing for my father and family. No more tear stained pillow cases. No more…me.

No one would miss me. Scarlett may shed a tear or two, but that's just for pity's sake. Petunia and mother would probably rejoice at the fact that they no longer have to pay my tuition to Hogwarts.

And I could spend eternity with my dad. I reached for the long glass, filled with death.

Bringing it to my lips, I heard a voice. One, then two…then a total of three voices. I replaced the bottle on the nightstand and peeked out the curtain which was drawn around my bed. I saw a few empty beds down, was another bed with a curtain drawn around it. Occupied.

"So how are you feeling, mate?" A voice belonging to Sirius questioned.

"The day after is always the worse." Remus' familiar sweet but strong voice answered.

"This one seemed extra painful." Cute little Peter stated.

"You have no idea, Peter."

I wondered where James was, the four never did anything with out each other. And I'm sure if Remus is hurt or something James would be the first by his side.

"So how's Lily, James?" Remus asked. My ears perked up at the mention of my name. Eh? What's going on here?

"She woke up this morning for a few minutes, enough to take some pain killers. She's out now, probably until tomorrow afternoon." Heh heh. That's what they think…

Then a silence. A dead unnatural and somewhat awkward silence until Sirius spoke.

"Bloody hell, James. It's not your fault. You opened a door, she wasn't paying attention. So will you stop moping around?"

I ran into a door?

I ran into a door.

My clumsy idiot meter is skyrocketing.

I heard a grumble of a response.

" Is that a yes?" I guess he nodded because Sirius said, "Good…" Another short silence.

"Am I really acting that bad?" James asked in that easy laugh.

"Yea, it was depressing. Almost as depressing as that time you lit my cat on fire, and killed it." Peter said forlornly.

"Uh…you were only one who thought that was depressing, Pete…"

I heard exaggerated movements and lots of laughing. Why wasn't the nurse hearing this?

Then I heard Remus yell, "Ouch! No roughhousing by the handicap…" And there was silence, until they all started laughing hysterically.

I felt the corners of my mouth tilt upwards with their sweet nonsense. Maybe life does have some joy. Maybe I do have something to live for…

* * *

The sun rose bright with a feeling of accomplishment.

"Good morning dearie." The nurse smiled warmly as she continued bustling about from bed to bed. I noticed that the sheets around Remus' bed were drawn and he was sitting up with a tray propped and filled with some sugary treats I'm sure the nurse didn't approve of.

"Ah, she awakes." Remus smiled as he popped in another one of the treats that only the Marauders could have been responsible for.

"Good morning, Remus." I combed my hand through my untidy hair that was falling awkwardly over my shoulders and pulled it back with an elastic tie. "So why are you here?"

He finished chewing and swallowed before saying, "What can I say, I get sick easily. I'm here practically every month!"

"Yeah, I noticed. You must be a walking germ." I made an exaggerated shudder followed by an effortless grin. Life….ah, for once I was going to bask in the rays of its warmth.

"I know, but the sad thing is…that was not the first time I've been called a walking germ."

Just then the door burst open to reveal a grinning James. He sped straight to Remus' bed and threw off his sheets.

"Alright, up….out. C'mon. Time to go." James grabbed the pile of Remus' clothes and threw it on his bed.

"Ah, wait a second Mr. Potter, what do you think you're doing?" The nurse stood with her hand on the hips of her apron and a stray curl dangling impatiently in front of her face.

"He's fine. He's done. Two days is all he needs, thank you so much for everything," James said quickly as he continued to usher Remus to the restroom so he could change.

An oh-I-give-up-sigh came from the nurse as she left and carried on with her previous chores. Once James was sure that Remus was in the lavatory getting washed up and changed, he came over towards my bed. I self-consciously ran my fingers through my ponytail to feel for any bumps. He grabbed the plastic uncomfortable chair and set it next to my bed.

He smiled at me while a few moments of time just fluttered past our faces.

"Hi." His boyish grin was captivating.

"Hi."

"How are you? Does your head still hurt?" His sincerity was odd, life had been so hard for me a few months ago, but now I'm finding friends in all the unexpected people.

"Well, right now...I'm good."

"Me too." Our eyes locked for a moment. A moment that seemed like eternity.

"Ok, ok. I'm dressed. Now why did you so savagely rip me from my bed?"

"Hmm?" James eyes turned off me to look at Remus, "Oh, right. Well I got a letter from the parents….big news!" James stood up so he was standing in between me and Remus.

Remus moved his arm in a carry-on motion.

"Well, you know how my birthday is in exactly one month, two weeks and 4 days?"

"Sure."

"Well, mum and dad said…for my birthday they would get me…" James stood there for a moment letting the excitement set in, when he didn't say anything for a moment, Remus got impatient

"What?"

"Drum roll please."

Remus and I looked at each other doubtfully.

"Drum roll. Please."

I tapped my fingers on the bed side table in a rather weak beat. Remus followed with a roll of his eyes as he clapped pathetically.

"A…..Thunder Chaser 1500 Silver Edition!"

"Are you serious!...I didn't know they were on the market yet…that's bloody brilliant, James!" The boys whooped in a rather hilarious matter.

"Is that a broom stick?" I asked cluelessly.

"A broom stick, Lily? Oh no, not just any broom stick. It's the top of the line broom stick which our favorite chaser is endorsing."

"Oh, you can't be serious. Richard Cunningham is using the Thunder Chaser 1500 Silver Edition?" Remus raked a hand through his hair and left it there with an expression of complete awe.

"Yea, pretty cool huh?"

"Cool? That's incredible!"

Another short whooping ceremony.

"Ah huh. You came here at…. 8:00 in the morning to tell Remus about a…broomstick?" I did not understand this.

"Ah, my fair Lily. A broomstick by any other name would smell as sweet…"

I will never understand these boys…

(A/N: Hey there. Chapter 3 is a bit..dramatic eh? Haha. But that's the beauty of it all. Reviews are great….just like you! Love you guys!)

prongs122


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